It's just RAIN!!

So, yeah...
We were out and about yesterday, in the rain. And I SWEAR, just like snow, people get instantly STUPID. It's rain. Water. You will not melt. You will not fall into oblivion. It. is. RAIN.
Tell this to the woman that SLAMS on her brakes for no apparent reason, because the rain comes down a bit harder... or the jerk that runs out in front of you to cross NOT in a cross-walk and WAVES because you HAD to stop. This is why I don't drive much.

And speaking of rain, when it rains, it pours. I am falling apart. Ok, I already knew this. I'm still waiting on results from my "sniff" test I had last Tuesday. Bill saw the screen, my left diaphragm didn't move. *sigh* So, now it's to figure if I do indeed have a hernia and need surgery, or what. Now, on top of that, I have to have a test for "girly" issues. A sonohistogram, or something like that. I'm beginning to feel like a medical experiment. I want to be NORMAL! NOT SICK! UGH UGH UGH!

Games, games, games!

One of the best things we've spent money on. EVER. Well, as far as entertainment. The kids (big kids included!) love playing all these cool games on Shockwave (similar to Pogo, PopCap, Yahoo Games, Youda, etc.). The only downfall is, they are "trial versions" and last 60 minutes or you have to buy them for $20. Well, Shockwave has this wicked cool program, Shockwave Unlimited. You can subscribe to it month by month, but we paid for the year, which is $60, or $5 per month. For that price, you get to download these games and play them, unlimited. Basically, it's like you spent the $20 per game to buy them. It's awesome. And in the month and a half that we've had this, it's paid for itself, oh gosh, 3-4 times over now? And there's no shortage of games. It seems like they add new ones everyday.

So, what are the favorites around here? Danny likes the "food" games. He does want to be a chef. There's one called Hot Dish, where you work in a restaurant and create a menu and then have to prepare it; 3 appetizers, 3 entrees and 3 desserts. You have to chop, stir, sautee and bake items according to the recipes, and create these dishes roughly at the same time so they don't "go bad" and you lose stars. The dishes are rated on their perfection and quality. Sounds hard, but it actually is fun. Kelsey is more into the pet games or the garden games. Alice Greenfingers she likes, you plant your own gardens. She plays the "arcade" types, but she's not fast enough for them. All three kids will laugh and giggle over each other playing games too, like Super Granny (she has to rescue her cats). Bill doesn't play, but I do. My preferred games, it depends on my mood. Sometimes I like games like Diner Dash. Other times I like puzzle games. There's many different kinds of those. Some seek-and-find kinds, some similar to Bejeweled. I like ones with a little storyline to it. I just completed a game yesterday called Turbo Pizza.

The cool thing about these, besides the price tag, is, you've downloaded them, so it saves your progress and more than one person can be playing a game. Just switch the player name when it prompts you. It's also usable on more than one computer. Not like the CD games where you need the CD to play. I could go to Joe Schmoe's house and play, if he let me download one! I wouldn't be able to play a previously saved game though, but that's ok! It's super fun!

Message from beyond

Now, I'm not a religious person by any means. Much to my grandmother's dismay, I was never baptized, never raised with the fear of "god" to strike me down at any moment, never "belonged" to any church. As an adult, I don't believe in organized religion AT ALL. To me, the bible is just another story book, regardless of how influential it is in our history. I'm the one that needs concrete evidence that such-and-such happened. But I do believe there is a "higher being" out there, just it's not an old man dipping his hands in the pot of evolution.

So, with that said, I don't believe in "heaven" or "hell" as physical places someone's soul goes to. What does happen to one after death? I don't know, just like no one else knows. Do we even have a soul? Do we get buried and become worm food? Do we have another existence on another plane that we wander? No one knows. Yes, I believe in ghosts. Why? I've witnessed them. I can count 3 instances of ghostly activity in my life, and all 3 of those were also witnessed by someone else. So, it's not just my perception.

The other thing I believe in, which goes along with ghosts, although, to me, ghosts are more of a physical apparition. But, I believe in spirits of the ethereal world. Those that visit us in our dreams, in our minds. I believe there is a reason we are contacted by them, whether it be an urgent matter, or just a simple reassurance.

I don't know what qualifications someone has to have to be blessed with these visits. Or if some people just brush them off as a "dream" and pay no attention to the meaning. Dreams have meanings. It's just how we use them that matters.

So, my dream last night, I got a surprising, unexpected visit. I was dreaming some event was happening, I was in a hotel room with my parents and Bill. There was no ceiling, or the ceiling was glass, the daylight was pouring in. There was a patio of sorts outside a sunroom, lots of plants. Almost like a greenhouse. I didn't think much of it, we were all discussing arrangements of some sort. All of a sudden, the door opened, and my grandfather walked in, carrying a small pot with a seedling in it. He put an arm around me and said, as he always did, "How's my gal?" I could smell him, he always had this earthy smell, because he was a horticulturist, and soil was a huge part of his life.

My grandfather passed away in August of 2003 of cancer. A week after my grandparent's 60th anniversary. There was no funeral, just a memorial service at their church. Bill and I were to leave that same day for a week vacation for our 5th anniversary. Everyone urged us to go, he wouldn't want us to change our plans. So, we did. A month later, we found out I was pregnant. Totally unplanned, totally unexpected, as I had been on birth control.

I had been close to my grandpa. I spent lots of summers with them growing up. I'd follow Grandpa around, helping him in his greenhouse, in his gardens. He grew plants year round. I remember snowy days, sitting in the warm greenhouse, the smell of the wood stove drying chestnuts and soil and plants. Feeling the soil, soft and warm on my hands. Learning how to split a flat of seedlings to transplant them into single pots. Being taught how to take a cutting of a plant and create a new plant.

It's now nearing the end of April. Time to start gardening. And I've been debating if I should start the plants inside now, so that by the end of May, they will be ready for the garden. I think Grandpa gave me my answer. This isn't the first time he's visited me. Last year he did the same. And the year before. Always walked into my dream with some sort of gardening message.

Change

It amazes me, as I get older, how much people can change. Those once revered as friends, suddenly become strangers almost overnight. No rhyme or reason, I guess. I'm just left standing in the dust, looking perplexed and shell-shocked at suddenly falling from grace and losing out on all that was familiar to me.

It's certainly tough being thrown into mourning a loss you had no control over, no warning, being hit blindsided with. How to put into perspective that which you can't understand and apparently have no way to understand?

I'm not a fan of change. I like sticking to the familiar and comfortable. This is why I still live in the area I grew up in. I took a leap of faith 13 years ago to attend a college almost 2 hours away. So adventurous, eh?

Yeah, whatever...